jürgen fauth’s muckworld

Even after more than a decade in the US, strange little pockets of culture shock remain. Americans can’t possibly believe I’ve never seen a single episode of Gilligan’s Island or Three’s Company. (I counter with Augsburger Puppenkiste and Asterix.) Charlotte’s Web, the children’s story by E.B. White, is another blind spot in my education–or it was, until this new film version came along, starring adorable Dakota Fanning, slick CGI, and voices by Julia Roberts, Steve Buscemi, John Cleese, Oprah Winfrey, Kathy Bates, Thomas Haden Church, and Robert Redford.

As far as stories about swine go, the barnyard Bildungsroman about Wilbur the spring pig and his unlikely friendship with a spider never reaches the lofty heights of Babe II: Pig in the City. The Danny Elfman score is laid on much too thick, and the ending suffers from a few too many sentimental speeches. But Charlotte’s Web is sweet and fun, and there are some very clever lines. When was the last time you saw a movie that raises the narrative question of whether or not the pig is going to spit out the spider’s egg sack the rat brought over? The moral of the tale: “It’s not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer.”

Charlotte’s Web. Gary Winick, 2006. ***

Bonus: Euro Nostalgia
YouTube is dominated by the new CGI Urmel aus dem Eis, so instead, here’s a delightfully trashy techno remix of the Jim Knopf theme, “Eine Insel mit zwei Bergen.” No German my age can resist this stuff. Die Wilde 13 was always my favorite.

…and moi non plus. If there’s a kind of movie I hate to review more than any other, it’s the one that sounds too good to be true. Like a jilted lover obsessively reliving every painful moment, it requires rehashing your embarrassing anticipation and then laying out every deflating pinprick of disappointment. Besides, readers really hate the bearer of bad news. It can sap the joie de vivre right out of you.

So here we go again. Paris, je t’aime sounds like a connoisseur’s delight: two hours of short films celebrating the most romantic city in the world, directed by an impressive roster of international auteurs and starring a legion of favorite actors: Olivier Assayas, the Coen Brothers, Isabel Coixet, Wes Craven, Alfonso Cuaron, Christopher Doyle, Alexander Payne, Tom Tykwer, Gus Van Sant; Natalie Portman, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gerard Depardieu, Juliette Binoche, Ludivine Sagnier, Steve Buscemi, Bob Hoskins, Nick Nolte, Ben Gazzara, Marianne Faithfull, Miranda Richardson, Fanny Ardant, Gena Rowlands, Barbet Schroeder, Gaspard Ulliel. Surely, this could be nothing but a pleasure?

• Read the rest of my review of Paris, je t’aime on About.com. The film opens next week.

Paris, je t’aime. Olivier Assayas, Frédéric Auburtin, Emmanuel Benbihy, Gurinder Chadha, Sylvain Chomet, Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, Isabel Coixet, Wes Craven, Alfonso Cuarón, Gérard Depardieu, Christopher Doyle, Richard LaGravenese, Vincenzo Natali, Alexander Payne, Bruno Podalydès, Walter Salles, Oliver Schmitz, Nobuhiro Suwa, Daniela Thomas, Tom Tykwer, and Gus Van Sant, 2006. **

Here at Muckworld Headquarters, there’s a manhunt on for the sneaky hackers who put Monster House on top of the Netflix queue. Our account must have been compromised–how else to explain that this Spielberg-produced CGI kids movie arrived on our doorstep? I suspect the voices of Steve Buscemi and Maggie Gyllenhaal had something to do with it. Either way, Monster House is sorta cute until the popcorn runs out, then it gets boring fast. Good thing it’s over before the lame sidekick characters can kill it altogether. Ho-hum.

Monster House. Gil Kenan, 2006. **

• Monster House on RottenTomatoes

  [tags]steve buscemi, kids, horror, halloween, cgi, animation, steven spielberg, maggie gyllenhaal, film, 2 stars[/tags]