Apparently, Japan is home to an underground industry of “pink films,” a genre of softcore porn that is still exhibited in theaters. Genitals are strictly taboo, but from the evidence of this film, generous helpings of cum and warped political allegories reenacted with GI Joe dolls are just dandy.

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is a repurposed version of a pink movie called Horny Home Tutor: Teacher’s Love Juice, in which a role-playing prostitute (Kuroda Emi) is shot smack-dab in the forehead by a North Korean assassin/rapist. Instead of killing her, the bullet gets lodged in her brain and turns her into a genius who gets off at the mere mention of Noam Chomsky. In her handbag, Sachiko finds the cloned trigger finger of George W. Bush, who appears to her at the bottom of a water bucket, and later, on a rooftop, where her bush is fingered while a deranged version of the infamous Mission Accomplished speech plays on a TV that materialized out of nowhere. (It’s the best masked impersonation of a U.S. president since Ultrachrist!)

After that, things get really strange. I might have fallen asleep and dreamt the part about the wind-up toy that saves the world from nuclear holocaust, but it’s clear that The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is some sort of obscene, elaborate joke at the expense of the Bush Administration. With its flashes of violence and gross-out humor, endless sex scenes, and bizarro political commentary, it’s the trashy midnight weird-out that Grindhouse could have been. The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is currently playing at Cinema Village.

Hatsujô kateikyôshi: sensei no aijiru. Mitsuru Meike, 2003. ***